A word of the day:
an·ger [ang-ger] noun
1. A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath.
Unusual word of the day:
accubation: The practice of eating or drinking while lying down
Now that I am in my third trimester accubation seems the only way I will get a good meal in.
A baby name:
Meaning of the name Aaliyah :To rise
A place in the world:
I have loved this website since the beginning.
It’s during the night, I look at the empty space on the side of my bed, now filled with two bassinets and think about the two lives that will occupy them in the next month or so. It’s an unreal feeling to know I will be a parent again. I for so long saw and could only see me and my daughter. I mean almost 10 year later I’m starting over, and with twins no less.
But more than unreal I’m starting to get butterflies, which is pretty darn hard with two babies in my stomach. Every time I see an ultrasound I wonder how do they manage in there, but it’s all just a miracle.
I’ve had to step outside myself and step into a new me to take on this huge responsibility. I know that I have to put them first, whatever selfish parts I had left has gone to them. Now, I’m not perfect, and I have plenty of worry and stress. It’s not easy having to handle this situation on my own, but I have done my best to keep myself together and maintain my household with the child I already have.
So as I look at my babies bassinets, I care nothing more to be here for them, to care for there needs and to hold them when they cry. It’s going to be a total experience around here, new life, new hopes, new possibilities, new noises, new smells (eww) will lay in those bassinets.
Am I ready for the new adventure? Hell yes, why not! Lots of people are caught up in the adventure of careers and making society happy, but I’m caught up in this adventure called life. I will not let this opportunity slip me by, because there is nothing more rewarding, nothing more worthy, nothing more gracious in Gods eye’s then the making of family.
Life is nothing without people in it and to know life you must not only give yourself to the making of it, but you must be present in the rearing of it (life).
Image via Wikipedia
So the deal is I’m pregnant with twins and me and the unborn babies father aren’t together. So I want to do what is best for them. I know how it goes, do little dads come around when they want to and start making demands of what they want and how they want it. So instead of going threw that drama I want to do my best to put together a parental agreement now.
I’ve already pitched the idea but it doesn’t seem to be going over well. I strongly dislike when a person doesn’t take responsibility for the creation of a child beginning to end and put aside their needs. If a person is not going to stick around the woman, then why leave your children hanging in the balance until the last minute?
I would truly like to be civil and handle the situation out of court but I think the other party is forcing my hand. I believe that if I’m not able to get an agreeance now, it will be more difficult once they are born. At this point my main concern is that I’m healthy and supported. I truly do not have time for any person who doesn’t understand the importance of my babies. As this is also a high risk pregnancy, not having what you need by whom you need it can be very stressful.
So now I’m more on just giving up, and understanding that he will not put his children first.
Image by gretchichi via Flickr
I bought a few items for my babies. I know I have some ways to go but I couldn’t help it. It was at a garage sale and I need every deal I can get. The lady at the garage sale had a huge pile of baby items and she was selling them 50 cent a piece and they were all name brand. So I think I came across a winner. Most of the items were new or lightly worn. They were mostly onesies.
If I could recall for about the first 6 months my daughter was just in onesies. And she had so many outfits that went unused. So this time I’m trying to be smarter, which actually isn’t much of an option since I’m having to and I don’t have much money. But with my little girl money for the most part wasn’t an object and by the end of the 6 months I had 2 or 3 garbage bags full of clothes she couldn’t fit and never wore.
The pile of clothes at the garage sale were all girls items, so I had to pick my way threw to find items that were neutral since I don’t know what the sex of the babies are yet. Although I am hoping for a boy and girl.
As I get bigger and the babies grow inside of me, I have to be a stronger mommy. I have to relearn and gain back all that energy, positivity and strength I had with my first child but times 2.
Sometimes, I can’t help but to feel down about the situation I’m in, but then when I imagine there little faces, fingers and toes, I am reminded that if nothing else I am blessed. Life seems to throw me many curve balls and I can say I haven’t done well with some of them. But with new life coming my way I’m ready to move on and do it on my own.
Happiness for my children and me is my main goal. So I’m looking forward to moving and starting a new life. Being closer to those who support me, finding old and new things that make me happy. Challenging myself to do better and creating a legacy that my child and there children can be proud of. I know it will not be easy but it will be worth every piece of effort I own.
To my only child for the past 9 yrs. things haven’t been easy but I assure you it will get better. You are so excited to see the babies as you have always wanted siblings. I know you will be a great sister and helper as you are a wonderful daughter. You more the anyone deserve the best. As we start this new chapter in our lives, I thank God for bringing you into minds.