It’s during the night, I look at the empty space on the side of my bed, now filled with two bassinets and think about the two lives that will occupy them in the next month or so. It’s an unreal feeling to know I will be a parent again. I for so long saw and could only see me and my daughter. I mean almost 10 year later I’m starting over, and with twins no less.
But more than unreal I’m starting to get butterflies, which is pretty darn hard with two babies in my stomach. Every time I see an ultrasound I wonder how do they manage in there, but it’s all just a miracle.
I’ve had to step outside myself and step into a new me to take on this huge responsibility. I know that I have to put them first, whatever selfish parts I had left has gone to them. Now, I’m not perfect, and I have plenty of worry and stress. It’s not easy having to handle this situation on my own, but I have done my best to keep myself together and maintain my household with the child I already have.
So as I look at my babies bassinets, I care nothing more to be here for them, to care for there needs and to hold them when they cry. It’s going to be a total experience around here, new life, new hopes, new possibilities, new noises, new smells (eww) will lay in those bassinets.
Am I ready for the new adventure? Hell yes, why not! Lots of people are caught up in the adventure of careers and making society happy, but I’m caught up in this adventure called life. I will not let this opportunity slip me by, because there is nothing more rewarding, nothing more worthy, nothing more gracious in Gods eye’s then the making of family.
Life is nothing without people in it and to know life you must not only give yourself to the making of it, but you must be present in the rearing of it (life).
My babies are almost here 3owks 10 more to go. I’m very excited. I got there names down, now just can’t wait to see there faces. Everyday I envision how they may look, but there is just no telling. I can’t wait until the moment I get to hold them and look into their eyes. I’m emotional just thinking about it. Know matter what my situation is I’m happy to take on this responsibility. I’m just amazed!
It’s been so long since I’ve been apart of a birth and to have two babies at that. I’m in aw everyday. I can say that my pregnancy with my daughter wasn’t as enjoyable. I was bed ridden sick most of the time. But I have been able to enjoy this one a bit more just because I haven’t had to throw-up every day. Although, my back kills me so. I can handle some back pain for my babies. What’s a little discomfort for a blessing like this. It’s unlikely to happen again.
I’m so emotional in thought,
focus coming to view,
your presents almost near,
I hardly know what to do,
Excited by the feel,
What a miracle,
God has bestowed,
so I wait until your birth,
the day of your arrival.
Just us three alone,
mommy loves you!
Image via Wikipedia
So the deal is I’m pregnant with twins and me and the unborn babies father aren’t together. So I want to do what is best for them. I know how it goes, do little dads come around when they want to and start making demands of what they want and how they want it. So instead of going threw that drama I want to do my best to put together a parental agreement now.
I’ve already pitched the idea but it doesn’t seem to be going over well. I strongly dislike when a person doesn’t take responsibility for the creation of a child beginning to end and put aside their needs. If a person is not going to stick around the woman, then why leave your children hanging in the balance until the last minute?
I would truly like to be civil and handle the situation out of court but I think the other party is forcing my hand. I believe that if I’m not able to get an agreeance now, it will be more difficult once they are born. At this point my main concern is that I’m healthy and supported. I truly do not have time for any person who doesn’t understand the importance of my babies. As this is also a high risk pregnancy, not having what you need by whom you need it can be very stressful.
So now I’m more on just giving up, and understanding that he will not put his children first.
As I get bigger and the babies grow inside of me, I have to be a stronger mommy. I have to relearn and gain back all that energy, positivity and strength I had with my first child but times 2.
Sometimes, I can’t help but to feel down about the situation I’m in, but then when I imagine there little faces, fingers and toes, I am reminded that if nothing else I am blessed. Life seems to throw me many curve balls and I can say I haven’t done well with some of them. But with new life coming my way I’m ready to move on and do it on my own.
Happiness for my children and me is my main goal. So I’m looking forward to moving and starting a new life. Being closer to those who support me, finding old and new things that make me happy. Challenging myself to do better and creating a legacy that my child and there children can be proud of. I know it will not be easy but it will be worth every piece of effort I own.
To my only child for the past 9 yrs. things haven’t been easy but I assure you it will get better. You are so excited to see the babies as you have always wanted siblings. I know you will be a great sister and helper as you are a wonderful daughter. You more the anyone deserve the best. As we start this new chapter in our lives, I thank God for bringing you into minds.
I’m starting to show. So it’s time to start taking photo’s. I’ve been reading on how much weight I should gain and I’m not to happy about that. But that’s all a part of the process.
Pregnant with twins 11wks
I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter 9 yrs. ago the baby weight didn’t go away for sometime. But I believe I made one mistake that keep the baby weight hanging on. Before I left the hospital I had got on a the birth control called Depo-Provera. That kept me from losing any weight.
It took me two yrs. to realize I needed to get off the birth control. At the time I had been going to school and had a weight conditioning class 3 times a week and I went to the gym but I still wasn’t losing any weight. And I tell you within a month of getting off Depo I had lost so much weight.
So this time around I will be a wiser in the choices I make.