It’s during the night, I look at the empty space on the side of my bed, now filled with two bassinets and think about the two lives that will occupy them in the next month or so. It’s an unreal feeling to know I will be a parent again. I for so long saw and could only see me and my daughter. I mean almost 10 year later I’m starting over, and with twins no less.
But more than unreal I’m starting to get butterflies, which is pretty darn hard with two babies in my stomach. Every time I see an ultrasound I wonder how do they manage in there, but it’s all just a miracle.
I’ve had to step outside myself and step into a new me to take on this huge responsibility. I know that I have to put them first, whatever selfish parts I had left has gone to them. Now, I’m not perfect, and I have plenty of worry and stress. It’s not easy having to handle this situation on my own, but I have done my best to keep myself together and maintain my household with the child I already have.
So as I look at my babies bassinets, I care nothing more to be here for them, to care for there needs and to hold them when they cry. It’s going to be a total experience around here, new life, new hopes, new possibilities, new noises, new smells (eww) will lay in those bassinets.
Am I ready for the new adventure? Hell yes, why not! Lots of people are caught up in the adventure of careers and making society happy, but I’m caught up in this adventure called life. I will not let this opportunity slip me by, because there is nothing more rewarding, nothing more worthy, nothing more gracious in Gods eye’s then the making of family.
Life is nothing without people in it and to know life you must not only give yourself to the making of it, but you must be present in the rearing of it (life).
Image via Wikipedia
So the deal is I’m pregnant with twins and me and the unborn babies father aren’t together. So I want to do what is best for them. I know how it goes, do little dads come around when they want to and start making demands of what they want and how they want it. So instead of going threw that drama I want to do my best to put together a parental agreement now.
I’ve already pitched the idea but it doesn’t seem to be going over well. I strongly dislike when a person doesn’t take responsibility for the creation of a child beginning to end and put aside their needs. If a person is not going to stick around the woman, then why leave your children hanging in the balance until the last minute?
I would truly like to be civil and handle the situation out of court but I think the other party is forcing my hand. I believe that if I’m not able to get an agreeance now, it will be more difficult once they are born. At this point my main concern is that I’m healthy and supported. I truly do not have time for any person who doesn’t understand the importance of my babies. As this is also a high risk pregnancy, not having what you need by whom you need it can be very stressful.
So now I’m more on just giving up, and understanding that he will not put his children first.
As I get bigger and the babies grow inside of me, I have to be a stronger mommy. I have to relearn and gain back all that energy, positivity and strength I had with my first child but times 2.
Sometimes, I can’t help but to feel down about the situation I’m in, but then when I imagine there little faces, fingers and toes, I am reminded that if nothing else I am blessed. Life seems to throw me many curve balls and I can say I haven’t done well with some of them. But with new life coming my way I’m ready to move on and do it on my own.
Happiness for my children and me is my main goal. So I’m looking forward to moving and starting a new life. Being closer to those who support me, finding old and new things that make me happy. Challenging myself to do better and creating a legacy that my child and there children can be proud of. I know it will not be easy but it will be worth every piece of effort I own.
To my only child for the past 9 yrs. things haven’t been easy but I assure you it will get better. You are so excited to see the babies as you have always wanted siblings. I know you will be a great sister and helper as you are a wonderful daughter. You more the anyone deserve the best. As we start this new chapter in our lives, I thank God for bringing you into minds.
So, I recently wrote that I was pregnant. Well I’ve found out I’m having twins. OMG! That’s what everybody has been saying.
When I went to my first GYN appointment twins was the furthest thing from my mind. I don’t know of any on my side of the family or on the fathers side, that has twins. I surely wasn’t taking any fertility pills, so OMG is right.
Although, about a week before I went to the doctor I had a conversation with my mother, about how I was feeling. I had been overly tired, aggressively hungry, and I had said to her “the way I’m feeling, It could be twins.” But that was one of those things you say, one of those things you blurt out but don’t mean!
But the funny was on me! At first it was total shock. I think me and my mothers emotions were felt all through the hospital, when the words “YOUR HAVING TWINS” flew out the doctors mouth without even a second thought. The doctor was unsure of whether to congratulate us or to say nothing at all and just go on like she never said anything..
After that initial moment of shock wore off we started to realize this was going to happen. Those TWINS are on their way. February 12, is coming and we better get ready.
So, I’m having a baby. Which I’m very happy about. I have a little girl who is 8 and she has wanted a sibling for a while.
The difference this time is I will be doing it alone. Which is the sad part. I of course wanted to be in the situation where the father was there. But unfortunately after 4 years in a relationship with the man I am now pregnant by, I realized he doesn’t want to have responsibility and a family.
I’m not mad. I just figure it is his loss as I know that me and my unborn child are worth the love and happiness. Now I can only focus on the beautiful bundle of joy that awaits me in 6 months. And although things in life don’t go as you plan, I’m sure God will grant me the true family I desire in time.
I have to say, I am very appreciative of my mother as I go through this journey. She is very positive about the situation. I told her I’m going to be breaking the “curse” she put on her children. She had three kids and we all had only one child of our own. So I am the only one left to be able to have a child. So it is very exciting for us. I know this baby will be loved extremely.
So, I say to the father, it’s your loss!